My Fears

Everyone has fears, even if they don't want to admit it.

I have three big fiears:

• Death (my biggest fear)
• Heights, and
• Spiders

I know, spiders aren't the worst thing to be afraid of, but they creep me out. I won't scream, or freak out if I see one, but I will NOT hold one.

Heights, I have been afraid of pretty much forever. When I went to Montana with my family for a wedding, we had driven partway up a mountain, and had got out to check out the view. I was seriously scared being up that high.

Death, I never seriously thought about, until my maternal grandpa died in 1999. Seeing him like that in the casket, really scared me, and I have been very afraid of death since then.

I am starting to come to terms with death, and accepting it as a part of life, but I will probably always have some fear of it.

Another 'fear' of mine is not finding someone to spend the rest of my life with, and having a family with. I really want to be a wife and a mother, and as I get older, it doesn't seem like it will be happening anytime soon. I'm not in too much of a hurry, but I would really like to be in a loving relationship at some point.

I am also afraid of public speaking, of speaking in front of people. I definitely do NOT like being the center of attention, of being in the spotlight. I always think of what others may say, think, or do when I speak, and I always get stage fright when I have to speak.

I do try to calm myself, and try not too think too much into it, but it doesn't really help. I always get scared, and my mind goes blank when I get up in front of people. I do want to work on this, and become more comfortable in speaking, but it may take a while for that to happen.

These fears are not preventing me, for the most part, of living my life. I still do things that I enjoy, and try not to worry too much about what may happen. I don't want to miss out on life, and want to enjoy it to the fullest.