Saturday, October 27, 2012

Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence

For as long as I can remember, I've had low self-esteem and self-confidence. I'm naturally a shy person, so being confident is an issue with me.

I have never willingly raised my hand in class to offer an answer or opinion. I have never gone up to someone and started talking to them.

I am afraid of speaking up, because someone might laugh or judge me for it. I don't like to draw attention to myself/be the center of attention.

I always doubt if I can really do what I set my mind out to do. I think I am not as smart as I can be/than I really am.

I prefer to be at home, where I am most comfortable. I love to read, write, use the computer, knit and crochet, things that don't require groups of people, or talking to people I don't know.

I was never the "popular" kid in school. I didn't have a lot of friends (I still don't). I never did well in school. I felt like I was stupid.

I prefer email, letters, texting, and social media to phone calls and face to face interactions.

It would be awesome if I was more outgoing, but doing things that are out of my comfort zone are agonizing for me, and that stinks. I hate not being comfortable in situations where I have to talk to people, especially people I don't know, or aren't friends with.

There are things about myself that I don't like, like my eyes, my feet, and my smarts. I kind of don't like other things about myself, but those three are the main ones I feel self-conscious of the most. And I hate that.

I hope I can get out of my shell more, and be happier with who I am. Then I wouldn't be so worried about things that aren't that important.

Well, that's all for now. More to come later.

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