Sunday, November 6, 2016

Six Years

It has been six years to the day since my mom passed away, and I miss her more every day.

She was in the hospital for about 5 weeks before she died, and that was a very tough time for the family.

For at least six months or so, I was having a hard time coping with my mom's death, so I was able to go back to my therapist for a while, to help me out.

Every time I had a dream about her (which I had a lot of for a while after she died), it made me wish she was still here, so I could tell her about them. Almost every single dream was about her going back to work, as she loved what she did (she worked at a local library).

By a year after her death, I was surprisingly ready to go back to school (I was taking college classes through all this, although, I did miss a couple when things took a turn for the worst with my mom's health), but, things didn't work out with school just yet, so I had to find something else to do.

At some point after my mom's death, I took up knitting to help with the grieving process.. I have always wanted to learn how to knit, but couldn't get the hang of it at first. I found a knitting and crochet store a few blocks from my home, that taught people how to knit and crochet, and that helped me out a lot.

So, I would go there on a regular basis to learn knitting, and to help me cope with my loss. It has helped me very, very much, and I am so thankful for that.

I wasn't trying to forget about my mom; I just needed something to get me through each day, so I didn't do anything I would regret.

I went back to school after year and a half, to two years after this, and I have been really enjoying it for the most part.

I still miss my mom very much, and I wish she was still here, but I am not nearly as bad as I was at first. I can get through most days without feeling like my world is crashing down around me. As much as I did not want to go through this, my mom's death has shown me just how strong (emotionally) I really am. If I can get through this, I can get through most anything. I hope my mom is proud of all that I have done, in these past six years.

I will always miss and love you, mom!!!

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