Things That Make Me Happy

There are lots of things that make me happy, and I figured I would share what those are.

• Books
• Journaling/writing/blogging
• Baking
• Feel-good movies
• Warm weather
• Rain on a warm day
• Hugs from loved ones
• My favorite music
• Taking pictures
• My favorite foods
• Relaxing out on the front porch, or in the yard, on a warm, sunny day
• Playing the violin
• Spending time with family and friends
• Bike riding
• Pets (playing with them, cuddling with them, petting them, etc.)
• Knitting
• Crocheting
• A very comfy bed
• Cheesecake (I LOVE cheesecake!!!)
• The sound of rain (and the smell after a rain)
• Butterflies
• Hot chocolate during cold weather days
• Ice cream on a warm/hot day
• A good laugh
• Having people to love
• Making awesome memories with family and friends
• Making s'mores
• Going swimming on a hot day
• Learning something new
• Being able to buy things that I want and need, with my own money
• Making lists (yes, making lists makes me happy!!)
• Taking an accidental pictures that turns out really good
• Going somewhere new, and having a good time
• Being warm on a cool/cold day/night
• Being cool on a warm/hot day/night
• Eggless chocolate chip cookie dough (seriously, this stuff is SOOOO good!!!)
• Flowers
• Gardening
• Being in nature
• Being alive
• Being me
• And many, many more!!

What makes you happy?

3 Wishes

I have been thinking about all the things I would like to do in my lifetime, and these are the three that I would most like to happen (although I know the first won't happen in this lifetime).

1. To get to see and talk to my mom again.
   My mom died in 2010, and it was very hard on me. We didn't have the best of relationships, but I did love her very much, and hated seeing her so sick, and in the hospital, the last 5 weeks of her life. I did get to say goodbye to her, but I did not want to let her go. I really want to be able to be with her again, one more time.
2. To have a job/career that I will love, and not really feel like 'work.'
   I have a few passions: writing, baking, and photography. I am currently going for my baking degree, and hope to get more degrees in all three friends in the future.
3. To travel the world.
   I have never been outside of the U.S. before, and would really love to travel all around, outside as well as in the U.S. There is a lot that the world has to offer, and I want to see and experience as much of it as I can, while I can.

There is much, much, MUCH more that I would love to be able to do, but these are my top three. I hope to be able to enjoy more things in my life, and to have the best life I can possibly make for myself.

Even though this is a three wishes post, I have decided to add one more, because it's something that I really, really, really want:

• To get married, and start a family of my own.
  I want to get married to someone who loves me for all of me, who won't hurt or try to change me, and who I love very much, who I will love for who he is. I would also love to have children, either biologically, or through adoption.

Five Minute Friday: Enough

I am linking up with Kate Motaung, for this week's Five Minute Friday.

This week's FMF is: Enough

 

You are enough

You are beautiful enough

You are smart enough

You are loved enough

You are worthy enough

You are talented enough

 

Is it really so hard to see your worth?

Your beauty?

Your strengths?

Is it so hard to see the worth,

the beauty,

the strength in others?

 

Everyone has a right

to be who they are,

and does not need to change

for anyone or anything.

Their life, as well as your own,

is worth it,

is enough.

 

You are more than what other people think of you.

You are the way you are for a reason,

and nothing can change that.

You have always been enough,

and will always be enough.

 

You do not have to be perfect,

to be enough.

No material possession

determines your worth.

You are worthy of this life,

and this life is worth it.

 

My Fears

Everyone has fears, even if they don't want to admit it.

I have three big fiears:

• Death (my biggest fear)
• Heights, and
• Spiders

I know, spiders aren't the worst thing to be afraid of, but they creep me out. I won't scream, or freak out if I see one, but I will NOT hold one.

Heights, I have been afraid of pretty much forever. When I went to Montana with my family for a wedding, we had driven partway up a mountain, and had got out to check out the view. I was seriously scared being up that high.

Death, I never seriously thought about, until my maternal grandpa died in 1999. Seeing him like that in the casket, really scared me, and I have been very afraid of death since then.

I am starting to come to terms with death, and accepting it as a part of life, but I will probably always have some fear of it.

Another 'fear' of mine is not finding someone to spend the rest of my life with, and having a family with. I really want to be a wife and a mother, and as I get older, it doesn't seem like it will be happening anytime soon. I'm not in too much of a hurry, but I would really like to be in a loving relationship at some point.

I am also afraid of public speaking, of speaking in front of people. I definitely do NOT like being the center of attention, of being in the spotlight. I always think of what others may say, think, or do when I speak, and I always get stage fright when I have to speak.

I do try to calm myself, and try not too think too much into it, but it doesn't really help. I always get scared, and my mind goes blank when I get up in front of people. I do want to work on this, and become more comfortable in speaking, but it may take a while for that to happen.

These fears are not preventing me, for the most part, of living my life. I still do things that I enjoy, and try not to worry too much about what may happen. I don't want to miss out on life, and want to enjoy it to the fullest.

10 Things I Cannot Live Without

If I had to choose ten things I couldn't live without they would be:

1. Books
   I love to read, because I can get lost in a book, and travel to different places, without having to go very far. It helps me to de-stress, which is awesome.
2. Music
   Music also helps me to de-stress, and I can get lost in it as well.
3. Notebooks and pens
   I also love to write. As I am a very shy person, writing helps me to better get my point across, and I can be creative in what I want to say.
4. Blogging
   I know blogging is basically writing, but I had to include it here.
5. Baking supplies
   I absolutely LOVE to bake, and am almost finished with my baking degree.
6. Digital/DSLR cameras
   Yet another passion of mine. I am always on the lookout for photo opportunities, and many things catch my eye.
7. Puzzles
   This is another thing that helps me to de-stress after a long day/week.
8. Blankets
   I love blankets, and I am one of those people that prefer to be covered when I sleep. I don't know why.
9. Knitting and crocheting supplies
   Another de-stresser. I love making things, and I always look forward to the finished product.
10. Chocolate
    Obviously!! I LOVE chocolate, and can't see myself being able to live without it.

Movies I Would Like to See

Because I am busy with work, school, homework, and volunteering, I don't feel up to doing much sometimes, but when I do feel like doing something, it's just to watch a movie, or go on the internet.

Here are the movies I would like to see:

• Logan
• Power Rangers
• Kong: Skull Island
• La La Land
• The Shack
• The Great Wall
• Rock Dog
• Smurfs: The Lost Village
• The Girl on the Train
• The Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
• Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
• Despicable Me 3
• Cars 3
• Transformers: The Last Knight
• Spider-Man: Homecoming
• Boss Baby
• Born in China
• The Case for Christ
• Sing
• Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk
• Fences
• Jackie
• Moonlight
• A Monster Calls
• Storks
• Free State of Jones
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows
• The Huntsman: Winter's War
• The Boss
• Miracles From Heaven
• The Fountain
• Risen
• Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
• American Sniper
• Pride & Prejudice & Zombies
• Spectre
• Steve Jobs
• The Lady in the Van
• A Brave Heart: The Lizzie Velazquez Story
• He Named Me Malala
• The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

What is on your list of movies to watch?

There will definitely be other movies I would like to see, but this is it so far.

Death and Life

We don't get to choose our time. Death is what gives life meaning. To know your days are numbered. Your time is short.

That is a line from the movie Doctor Strange, said by the character The Ancient One.

And it is definitely true. We do not get to decide our time. We do not get to live forever, no matter how hard we try.

The first death I experienced (and that I remember) was my maternal grandpa's death in 1999 (I was 13 then). It really scared me, and made me start thinking about my own life. It made me very, very afraid of death.

I know that we can't live forever, and I am trying to come to terms with my own mortality. I am partway there, in accepting it, and I want to make the most of this life while I can.

At this point in my life, I am afraid that after I die, that that is it. That I won't exist anymore.

I know some people don't believe in God, and heaven, and all that. I respect their reasonings, but I myself am not so against the idea of there being something more than this life, more than this world.

I don't think I am afraid of death itself, just that it causes so much pain and suffering, and that I have no absolute proof that I will not stop 'existing' after death. That my sould would be in a better place.

People have told me, as well as me reading, that if you have a dream about someone who has died, that means they are telling you that they are ok, and not to worry or to be sad. I have had several dreams about my mom after she died, all but one being a good dream. It made me feel good, because she was doing good in the dreams, but sad as well, because my mom wasn't alive anymore for me to tell her about the dreams.

I don't constantly think about life and death, about mortality, and all that, but every once in a while, something will remind me of it, and make me think about the future, and what it holds.

Hopefully, at some point in my life, I will be fully accepting of death, including my own. I don't want to be so afraid of death, and what it brings, that I forget to live a full, meaningful life now. I don't want to miss out on all that life has to offer.

The Benefits of Volunteering

For almost five years now, I have been volunteering at my local library, delivering library materials to those who can't make it to the library (due to disability, illness, etc.). It was one of the best things I decided to do, during what was, at that time, the worst time in my life.

I was going through a very tough time, and after a while, needed something to occupy my mind. Originally, I had wanted to volunteer in the children's area at the library, but when the library held a new volunteer meeting, they suggested I do the home delivery program (I did get to volunteer in the children's area after starting that, though).

I wasn't sure I really wanted to do the home delivery program, as I didn't have a license, but they said that was fine. There were (and are) three other people who are the main delivery people for the library.

After almost five years, I am so thankful that I did get to do the home delivery program. I met some really nice people, it brought me out of my shell a little (I am normally a very introverted and shy person), and I am doing something that I really enjoy.

On many occasions, some of the people I deliver materials to have said that they really appreciate what I (and the others) do for them, which makes me feel really good.

By volunteering your time, you get to help other people (and animals), and you get a rewarding feeling of your work, a sense of purpose and belonging. Volunteering may be free, but what you get in return far outweighs money. Your service definitely does not go unnoticed.

Volunteering actually helps raise your mood, you get to do what you love, you meet some amazing people, and you are doing some amazing work for your community. It really is one of the best things you can do!!

My Favorites of Spring

It is finally spring, so I thought I would post my favorite things about spring.

1. Flowers and trees blooming
2. The weather getting warmer/nicer
3. The Farmer's Market starting up again
4. Not having wear winter clothing
5. A light breeze blowing
6. All the different colors coming out in nature
7. Going on walks
8. Relaxing out on the front porch
9. Relaxing in the yard
10. Finally being able to start a garden
11. Being able to ride my bike again
12. Fresh fruits and veggies (that are in season)
13. Days staying lighter longer
14. Dying eggs for Easter (and Easter itself)
15. Being able to open windows during the day (and night) when the weather is warm
16. Pasta salad
17. Picnics
18. Exercising outside
19. Seeing butterflies
20. S'mores
21. The all-around beauty that is spring

I Am Finally a Working Girl (Again)!!!

I recently started working at my local library, as a shelving aide. Basically, I sort the materials that have been returned, shelve materials that are checked in, and pull materials that are on hold for patrons.

The library is within walking distance, which is really nice. I work three days a week, for about 15 hours each week.

One of the children's librarians, who I am friends with, had been suggesting I apply at the library, and would remind me about handing in an application. I had finally handed one in, around mid-January, but wasn't really expecting to hear anything about it, as I didn't hear anything the other times I applied.

But, I was very shocked when I was asked to come in for an interview, and even more shocked when I got a call saying that I got the job. The day I got the call saying I was hired, I was pretty much on cloud nine, I was so happy!!!

While working in the children's area one day, a little boy waved at me while I was shelving books. It made me feel good knowing kids (at least, some kids) were comfortable enough to interact with the staff. He was such a sweetheart!!

I have been volunteering there for almost 5 years now, so I am pretty familiar with some of the goings on at the library. I still get to volunteer, with the homebound delivery program, which is nice. I didn't want to give it up.

Since my mom worked at the library for a long time, I already knew a lot of the staff there, before I started working, which has greatly helped me with my job.

Hopefully this job lasts a lot longer than my last one (which it seems like it will), and that I will be happy with it (I am very happy with it so far!!).

It feels really good to be able to work again, especially at a place I love going to. The people are nice, the hours are good (and the pay!!). I'm just very happy right now!!!!