Tuesday, August 6, 2019

One Thing I Wish I Could Change About Myself

For as long as I can remember, I have not been happy with my body. I don't like how my feet look, how my skin looks, how my hair looks, my eyes...There is hardly anything I really like about my body.

I am trying to learn to love myself, but it is difficult, and a long process.

With as many issues as I have with my body, the one thing I wish I could change, are my eyes.

They don't work like eyes are supposed to. I am able to see, but I have what's called an iris coloboma in my right eye.

Basically, that is where the iris, and in my case the pupil, didn't form properly before I was born. Because of that, the vision in that eye isn't the best.

The issue I have with my eyes is not the iris coloboma, or the not-so-good vision.

It's that they make it look like I am looking in a direction that I am not actually looking in, and they don't move like they are supposed to.

So, people think I am staring at them, when I really am not. Which makes them turn their back to me, or put their hand over their eyes, as if that would make a difference.

Every time people do that, every time they judge me, it makes me hate people more, and makes me want to be around people less and less.

It really hurts me when they do that, but I am too shy to say anything about it.

My eyes are my biggest insecurity, the thing I hate the most. I wish I could accept it, and the reset of myself, for how and who I am, but I just can't

So, this is what I would change about myself if I could. And I REALLY wish I could change it.

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