Mourning Robin Williams

It was announced last week, as many of you may have heard, that Robin Williams died from an apparent suicide.

I was extremely shocked to hear that he was dealing with depression, as he seemed so cheerful, happy.

He was one of my favorite actors, as he was very funny, talented, and just an all-around amazing man, and I wish I could have met him.

I think my favorite movie with him in it would have to be Jumanji, although he was great in all the movies he starred in.

Thoughts and prayers go out to his family and friends, and he will be dearly missed.

R.I.P. Robin!!

School Support

I recently saw this article about a teen who is/was going through a rough time, and his school decided to rally with him.

It's amazing to see that there are still people who truly care about others, and have patience for that. It makes life a lot better when people decide to help others, rather than hurting them.

Rest in Peace Nelson Mandela

A couple days ago we learned that Nelson Mandela has died at the age of 95. That is so sad, as he was an amazing man, who did even more amazing things.

He was brave, inspiring, peace-loving, accepting, and he was only just one man. Yet he changed that way many people think and act towards others.

He will be dearly missed, but he is in a better place, and I am thankful that he has lived, even though I have never met him.

You can read a bit about him here.

Rest in peace, Mr. Mandela. You were very loved here on Earth.

The Grieving Process for Me

Three years ago, my mom passed away, and that really affected me. It's definitely not the same without her here. We were expecting her death, as the doctors told us she wasn't going to make it. Yet, it was still a bit of a shock. It's still hard to take in.

 

For maybe six months or so, I would cry myself to sleep pretty much every night. And I hated that, especially because I always went to my mom if I was upset about something, and she couldn't do that anymore. Which made me cry even more.

 

The only stage of grief I have gone through so far is sadness, which is actually surprising to me. I thought I would be mad that she was gone. But, I am thankful that this is the only stage I have been through. I do not want to feel mad, or any other feeling.

 

I'm doing better now, emotionally and mentally, but it's still hard at times. I still have moments where I just break down, and cry because my mom isn't here, but overall, I am doing good.

 

Shepherd Me O' God was one of the songs played at her funeral, and ever since then, I have heard it a few times more in church.

 

My mom's favorite song was Amazing Grace, which was also sung at her funeral.

 

Her death has shown me that I am much stronger than I thought I was, which, of course, is a good thing. It made me realize that if I can get through this, I can get through pretty much anything.

 

I miss my mom very much, and still love her. I can't wait for the day I get to see her again (although I hope that's not for a long time, as there are still things I want to do in this life).

Life Sucks

Today has ended on a bad note. A really bad note. My last remaining grandparent has died. Her kidneys gave out. We have to wait and see what they say about the funeral because this is Holy Week, and they probably can't do the funeral this week.
I really do not want to go to the funeral. I love my grandma very much, but it hasn't even been 6 months since my mom's death and funeral, and now I have to deal with another one. Another family member gone. I really, really, really hate life right now.
I wish I wasn't so afraid of death. I've been afraid of it since my maternal grandpa's death in 1999, when I was 13 years old.
Dealing with my mom's death was/is hard enough, and now my grandma's death deals another huge blow to my emotions and life.
I wish my mom was still alive so she can comfort me right now. I know I have my dad, brothers, and friends on immediate hand to help me deal, but I really need my mom.
I am planning on calling my therapist to set up another session, because I really need to talk to someone. A LOT. Life is hard enough when dealing with shit, but dealing with it without talking to someone is torture. I really need to talk to someone. And soon.
I am a religious person, but if I abosolutely knew that there really was a heaven, and life after death, I wouldn't be so afraid to die, and to be gone. But there are a lot of things I want to do before I go.
Like get married and have kids. Those are the two most important goals of mine. I would not be happy if I died before getting married and having kids. Heaven wouldn't be the same if I didn't have those chances.
Like I said earlier, life absolutely sucks. I hope God gives me the chance to fulfill at least some of my dreams, and to relieve me of my fear of death, and suffering.