The End of a Chapter, And Beginning of a New One

Well, it is official.

I am a college graduate!!!

The process took so long, that I never thought I would see this day. But, it has come and gone, and I have graduated.

I am both happy that it is finally over, and sad that it is over. It will definitely take me some time to get used to the fact that I don't have to go to school anymore (at least for this program; I may go back for other degrees/certificates at some point).

I really enjoyed the classes, and my teachers were really nice (and of course, they knew their subject, which is always good).

My favorite classes were probably the chocolate class (we actually got to work with chocolate, and make different products), cake decorating/advanced cake decorating, and cooperative work experience (basically an internship).

The graduation ceremony was yesterday, and afterwards, my family and I went out to eat to celebrate. It was a good, but surreal day.

I just can't believe I am finally a college graduate! Where has the time gone???

I have an out-of-state trip planned out, for after graduation, which I decide to go on as a reward for finishing school. I am so looking forward to it!!!

I am planning on looking for a baking job soon, but will be keeping my library job until I can get into the baking field, just so I know I will still have an income before that happens.

This has been a long time coming, but I am feeling some mixed emotions about it right now.

To be honest though, I am relieved it's over, because I am in need of a break from school. I really enjoyed it, but I didn't want to be in school forever.

To anyone else who is graduating, or has already graduated, this year, congrats!!!

My Shy, Quiet Side (And Why I Will Never Change That Part of Me)

People keep asking my why I am so quiet, and tell me that I should talk more.

Because that is who I am.

Because I don't want to talk all the time.

Because I prefer to listen more than I talk.

Just...because.

Although, I don't think I should have to explain why I am the way I am to anyone.

I am who I am, and that is not going to change any time soon.

Not everyone needs/wants to talk all the time.

I don't feel the need to fill silence with useless talk, and I don't want to say something just for the sake of saying something. I just don't see the point.

Why is that so hard to comprehend/accept, that not everyone likes to talk much?

I don't like having a lot of attention on myself, and I am very self-conscious, so that is another reason why I don't talk much. It is awkward, and I do not like the feeling.

Yes, being shy can be frustrating at times, because it holds me back from doing things I want to do, or saying something I really want to say, but in the end, it is a part of who I am, and I am learning to love this part of me.

So please, stop asking why, and stop telling me to talk more. That does not help in the slightest. It won't be changing any time soon. I will not talk more, just because someone wants me to.

My Current Favorites-Spring 2019

Here are my favorites for this spring:

• Call the Midwife TV/Netflix Series
  I finally started watching this show in April, and I must say, I absolutely love it!!! I was hesitant to start watching at first, but I am so glad I did. Call the Midwife is set in the 1950's, and is about a group of women who work as midwives (obviously) during and after pregnancies, as well as take care of people who are in need of care.
• Lularoe brand maroon dress with white polka dots
  I got this dress a couple days ago, and I love the style and look of it!! It comes down to around my knees, has pockets, and a belt. I think it suits my body really well, and it is very beautiful.
• The YouTube channel Crazy Middles
  I just found this channel, and I am alreay in love with the family who run it!! The couple (whom I think are Jared and Shelley) have one biological son, and several adopted children (I don't know their names from memory yet, but I believe there are around 14)
• Chocolate from Cameron's Coffee and Chocolates
  I recently found out about this company/restaurant through a YouTube channel (Six Blind Kids). I love chocolate, so I knew I had to try their products. Unfortunately, they are halfway across the country from me, so I had to have it shipped. But, I don't mind, as they are so good!!! They have a wide variety of chocolates, and you can get different sized boxes with a good selection (you can find them HERE).
• Clio PalmPerfect Electric Razor
  I have been wanting to get one of these for quite some time, to see how it works. When I finally gave in a got one this month, I immediately tried it out, and I am very impressed with it. It works wet or dry (meaning you can use it with or without water or shaving cream), which is nice. The razor did not nick or cut my skin, and my skin felt soft and smooth afterwards. I am really loving it, even after the first use!!

I haven't been able to try/check out many things this spring, but I am happy with what I could try/check out.

Things That Made Me Happy in April

The Things that made me happy this month are:

• Getting the fee paid off, for the Joni and Friends Retreat STM position
• Getting my graduation photos (physical copies) in the mail
• Getting a dress for graduation (a coworker offered to take me to the mall, to look for one)
• An employee at a local assisted living apartment saying that they appreciate my presence there, when I come to deliver library materials every Friday, through the library's home delivery program

This was a bit of a slow month, but it was still good. Next month will definitely be exciting, with graduation coming!

Things That Made Me Happy in March

Here is what made me happy this month:

• Getting my cap and gown for graduation
• Getting graduation pictures taken
• Ordering graduation pictures
• Buying cookies from a Girl Scout Troop (I LOVE Tagalongs!!)
• A girl scout giving me a hug when I bought cookies from her troop
• Getting a packet of information for the Joni and Friends Retreat I will be going to in June
• A guy in my food and beverage cost control class asking me to help him study for a test in one of his other classes

March was a slow month, but it was good. Here's hoping April brings good things with it!

My First Joni and Friends Retreat

I have been wanting to go to a Joni and Friends Family Retreat for years, as an STM, but haven't been able to for financial reasons.

But, this year, I finally get to go!!!! I am SO excited :D

The retreat is five days long, filled with worship, fun activities, and just a good time. I am really looking forward to it!!

This year's theme is One Way Ticket, which is based on the verse John 14:6 which says: "Jesus answered, 'I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

We are asked to come dressed as someone from the travel industry, or with an outfit from a favorite place we like to visit, from around the world.

After submitting the application to be an STM, I went through the process of filling out a background check online, my references were asked to fill out some questions about me, I had to do a phone interview so they could get to know me better, and to match me with a family that I will be serving during the retreat, and I had to raise the money needed to be able to go.

I am still in the process of raising money, but I have the means to reach my goal, so this won't take too long.

It took a while for this process to get going, and to be (almost) completed, but I am so happy it is done, and finalized, so I can go.

Even though I am very excited about this, I am also very nervous, as I am quite shy, and this is way out of my comfort zone. I want to do things out of my comfort zone, though, and do the things I really want to do, to have a more fulfilling life that I can be proud of.

To even submit an application for this retreat was a big step for me, as my shyness made me question if I could do it. But, I am glad I did, as the people I have talked to so far seem very nice, and understanding.

So, I am one very excited girl right now!! I can't wait for June to get here, so I can go to my first retreat!!

Closing in On Graduation

In about two months from now, I will be graduation from college, with my baking and pastry certificate.

When I first started college, graduation seemed so far off, and now that it's here, I can't believe how fast the time went!

I took a year off after high school, just to have a break from school, and then another year after my mom died, so it took me longer to get to this point than it normally would have otherwise.

Graduation has been on my mind a lot this semester. I just can't believe it's almost here, that's it's actually going to be happening soon.

I am currently taking my very last class, Food and Beverage Cost Control, which, to be honest, isn't very interesting (at least to me, it isn't), but it is necessary.

Cap and gowns will be available starting next week, tickets for the ceremony will be available next month. I am going out this weekend with a friend, to look for an outfit to wear. Graduation is mid-May.

After I graduate, I will be taking a well-deserved break, and when I am ready, I will go back to go for the degree.

I don't know when I will do that, but it is something that I want to do at some point.

Baking is one of my big passions, and has been for as long as I can remember. I want to be able to bake things that people will love and enjoy, and that I will love and enjoy making.

I can't wait to get started working in the baking industry, and to see where it takes me in life!!

Things That Made Me Happy in February

Here is what made me happy this month:

• Seeing a little girl (probably around 3 years old) wearing a Wonder Woman costume at the library
• Going to a retirement party of a coworker
• Seeing former coworkers at the retirement party
• Sending in my petition for graduation this May
• A girl saying hi to me, while I was shelving books at work
• A co-worker congratulating me on my two year work anniversary
• Finally getting a new pair of shoes
• One month of my last class, out of four, finishing

Not too bad of a month for me. Here's hoping March goes just as well.

My Current Favorites

Here is an updated list of my current favorites:

• The Introvert Doodle Book by Maureen Marzi Wilson
  I am a major introvert, so when I saw that Marzi (that's what she goes my on social media) wrote/created this book, I had to get it (I got it as a gift for Christmas). I love the activities in the book, and recommend it for my fellow introverts.
• The movie Dumplin'
  I just recently saw this movie, and I must say, I absolutely LOVED it!!! I definitely recommend seeing it, if you haven't already.
• Bacon-wrapped dates from Trader Joe's
  In one of my classes last year, we made bacon-wrapped dates, and I absolutely loved them. When I saw that Trader Joe's had them, I was really excited, and bought some for Christmas. I will definitely be getting more in the future!!
• OUAI Haircare Leave-In ConditionerI got a sample size of this product in my January Ipsy bag, and fell in love with it after just the first use. I immediately felt the difference, when my hair was dry, after I used the conditioner. My hair was soft and smooth, which is exactly what this conditioner is supposed to do.
• Batiste Dry Shampoo
  I got this in a beauty box from Walmart a while back, along with four other brands of dry shampoo, but never tried it until now. And I must say, I love it!!! I don't know why I never tried/used it before. It gets rid of the grease like it is supposed to, making my hair look fresh and clean, as well as making my hair feel soft.
• Not Your Mother's Dry Shampoo
  I also got this in the Walmart beauty box a while ago, and tried it recently. It works how it is supposed to, and has a very nice scent.
• The Netflix series Nailed It!I just started watching this, and I love it!! On the show, contestants are given a cake, or other baked item, to try and recreate. They are judged on how close they come to recreating the food item.
• White Noise
  I know this is kind of a weird thing to put on this list, but I never knew how effective white noise was until I had trouble sleeping recently, and decided to finally try it out. I have an app on my phone that has this sound on it, and gave it a try, and I fell asleep within minutes. So, I will definitely be using this again!!

What Makes Me Different Than Most Others

I was born with an iris coloboma in my right eye (basically, the iris, and in my case, the pupil as well, didn't form properly, and it affects the vision in my right eye), and I am very self-conscious about it (even though I've never gotten any comments about it...yet).

I'm not sure if this is because of the coloboma, but my eyes make it appear to others that I am looking/staring at them, or they don't look me in the eye when we talk, and I can't make it to where I am not looking at them, so they always cover their eyes, or turn their back to me, thinking that is the best thing to do in this situation.

And that really angers and upsets me. It is not my fault that my eyes are like this, and I really, really want to say something to people when they do that, but I am very painfully shy, so I say nothing. I just wish people knew there is nothing I can do about my eyes, and the way they are.

I have been putting off posting this, because I don't know how people would react, but I want it out there, because people just don't know what goes on in my mind, when they judge me because of my eyes.

Most of the time, I am NOT staring/looking at people, and I very much wish there was something I could do about my eyes. I wish people knew that, and that they were more understanding of my situation.

The reaction people have of me, is why I am so shy, and why I don't like to talk much. It is why I have come to not liking being around people anymore, and would much rather spend my time at home. I hate having this condition, and I wish I could change it. I just wish people would be more accepting of me, and not be so unfriendly towards me.

I just wanted to put this out there, because I have bottled all this up for years, and wanted to let it out. I had been afraid of saying these things out loud, of putting these thoughts out there, because of what people would think, but I just decided to just do it, that I didn't really care what other people thought. I wanted to get it out there, to let people know what I was thinking and feeling.