What Makes Me Different Than Most Others

I was born with an iris coloboma in my right eye (basically, the iris, and in my case, the pupil as well, didn't form properly, and it affects the vision in my right eye), and I am very self-conscious about it (even though I've never gotten any comments about it...yet).

I'm not sure if this is because of the coloboma, but my eyes make it appear to others that I am looking/staring at them, or they don't look me in the eye when we talk, and I can't make it to where I am not looking at them, so they always cover their eyes, or turn their back to me, thinking that is the best thing to do in this situation.

And that really angers and upsets me. It is not my fault that my eyes are like this, and I really, really want to say something to people when they do that, but I am very painfully shy, so I say nothing. I just wish people knew there is nothing I can do about my eyes, and the way they are.

I have been putting off posting this, because I don't know how people would react, but I want it out there, because people just don't know what goes on in my mind, when they judge me because of my eyes.

Most of the time, I am NOT staring/looking at people, and I very much wish there was something I could do about my eyes. I wish people knew that, and that they were more understanding of my situation.

The reaction people have of me, is why I am so shy, and why I don't like to talk much. It is why I have come to not liking being around people anymore, and would much rather spend my time at home. I hate having this condition, and I wish I could change it. I just wish people would be more accepting of me, and not be so unfriendly towards me.

I just wanted to put this out there, because I have bottled all this up for years, and wanted to let it out. I had been afraid of saying these things out loud, of putting these thoughts out there, because of what people would think, but I just decided to just do it, that I didn't really care what other people thought. I wanted to get it out there, to let people know what I was thinking and feeling.