11 Years

It is 11 years today since my mom died, and I miss her more than ever.

We didn't have the best relationship, but I loved her very much (and still do), and never imagined she would have been gone as soon as she did.

It has been hard not having her here these eleven years, as she was the one I always went to to talk. If I needed to vent, or a shoulder to cry on, or just wanted to talk about whatever, she was the one I would go to.

Since she died, I have had a very hard time opening up to people, even family members. I'm not having quite as hard a time talking now, as I have people that I trust with speaking up, but this experience still brings up pain and sadness.

She was in the hospital for the last 5 weeks of her life, being so sick, and it took a toll on the family. While she was there, we spent most of our time either at the hospital, or at a hotel so we could get a break from the hospital.

As much as I want her alive, though, I'm glad she isn't sick anymore, and that she doesn't have to deal with the things she had to deal with.

My favorite memories with her, are her and I making rice krispies treats every year, laying on her bed talking about whatever was on our minds, and when my dad surprised her for one of their wedding anniversaries, by having us kids come on a trip with them.

I very much miss the little things like these, that I got to do with my mom, and I hope she is proud of us, for how far we've come these last 11 years.

I miss my mom more and more every day, and I am very thankful to have had her in my life for as long as I did.