Things That Made Me Happy in February

Here is what made me happy this month:

• Seeing a little girl (probably around 3 years old) wearing a Wonder Woman costume at the library
• Going to a retirement party of a coworker
• Seeing former coworkers at the retirement party
• Sending in my petition for graduation this May
• A girl saying hi to me, while I was shelving books at work
• A co-worker congratulating me on my two year work anniversary
• Finally getting a new pair of shoes
• One month of my last class, out of four, finishing

Not too bad of a month for me. Here's hoping March goes just as well.

My Current Favorites

Here is an updated list of my current favorites:

• The Introvert Doodle Book by Maureen Marzi Wilson
  I am a major introvert, so when I saw that Marzi (that's what she goes my on social media) wrote/created this book, I had to get it (I got it as a gift for Christmas). I love the activities in the book, and recommend it for my fellow introverts.
• The movie Dumplin'
  I just recently saw this movie, and I must say, I absolutely LOVED it!!! I definitely recommend seeing it, if you haven't already.
• Bacon-wrapped dates from Trader Joe's
  In one of my classes last year, we made bacon-wrapped dates, and I absolutely loved them. When I saw that Trader Joe's had them, I was really excited, and bought some for Christmas. I will definitely be getting more in the future!!
• OUAI Haircare Leave-In ConditionerI got a sample size of this product in my January Ipsy bag, and fell in love with it after just the first use. I immediately felt the difference, when my hair was dry, after I used the conditioner. My hair was soft and smooth, which is exactly what this conditioner is supposed to do.
• Batiste Dry Shampoo
  I got this in a beauty box from Walmart a while back, along with four other brands of dry shampoo, but never tried it until now. And I must say, I love it!!! I don't know why I never tried/used it before. It gets rid of the grease like it is supposed to, making my hair look fresh and clean, as well as making my hair feel soft.
• Not Your Mother's Dry Shampoo
  I also got this in the Walmart beauty box a while ago, and tried it recently. It works how it is supposed to, and has a very nice scent.
• The Netflix series Nailed It!I just started watching this, and I love it!! On the show, contestants are given a cake, or other baked item, to try and recreate. They are judged on how close they come to recreating the food item.
• White Noise
  I know this is kind of a weird thing to put on this list, but I never knew how effective white noise was until I had trouble sleeping recently, and decided to finally try it out. I have an app on my phone that has this sound on it, and gave it a try, and I fell asleep within minutes. So, I will definitely be using this again!!

What Makes Me Different Than Most Others

I was born with an iris coloboma in my right eye (basically, the iris, and in my case, the pupil as well, didn't form properly, and it affects the vision in my right eye), and I am very self-conscious about it (even though I've never gotten any comments about it...yet).

I'm not sure if this is because of the coloboma, but my eyes make it appear to others that I am looking/staring at them, or they don't look me in the eye when we talk, and I can't make it to where I am not looking at them, so they always cover their eyes, or turn their back to me, thinking that is the best thing to do in this situation.

And that really angers and upsets me. It is not my fault that my eyes are like this, and I really, really want to say something to people when they do that, but I am very painfully shy, so I say nothing. I just wish people knew there is nothing I can do about my eyes, and the way they are.

I have been putting off posting this, because I don't know how people would react, but I want it out there, because people just don't know what goes on in my mind, when they judge me because of my eyes.

Most of the time, I am NOT staring/looking at people, and I very much wish there was something I could do about my eyes. I wish people knew that, and that they were more understanding of my situation.

The reaction people have of me, is why I am so shy, and why I don't like to talk much. It is why I have come to not liking being around people anymore, and would much rather spend my time at home. I hate having this condition, and I wish I could change it. I just wish people would be more accepting of me, and not be so unfriendly towards me.

I just wanted to put this out there, because I have bottled all this up for years, and wanted to let it out. I had been afraid of saying these things out loud, of putting these thoughts out there, because of what people would think, but I just decided to just do it, that I didn't really care what other people thought. I wanted to get it out there, to let people know what I was thinking and feeling.