A Shy and Introverted Teacher?

I have always been a very shy, introverted person, and that, among other things, is why I never really liked school all that much.

Yet, I have been very intent on becoming an elementary school teacher.

I have no idea why.

I am still very shy and introverted. I hate being the center of attention; I don't like to speak in front of a group of people; I freeze when I have to speak.

I just don't like it. Yet I really, really, really want to be a teacher. I love children, and this is how I want to work with them.

Yes, I am aware that there are other positions, like teaching assistants, where I can still work with the kids, without the pressure of being the head of the class.

But, I seem to have my heart set on becoming a teacher. Head of a class of children.

Which kind of scares me.

But, if something doesn't scare you, it doesn't help you grow, and learn. You have to be able to do the hard, the scary.

I am debating whether to go for elementary education, or special education, as my major. I have a heart for special education teaching, but I would also like to teach regular education as well. I might do both, just in case.

I started taking college classes in becoming a teacher, but I didn't do too great, so I switched majors. Once I am finished with this major (baking and pastry; I actually graduate, hopefully, this coming May!!), I may try again with the teaching degree.

Hopefully it works out better this next time around, and I may find out if I truly have what it takes to be a teacher. In the end, I may decide to become a teacher's aide, as I really want to be in a classroom again.

Belong

I am linking up with this year's 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes.

Today's Five Minute Free Write is: Belong

 

“Those who have a strong sense of love and belonging have the courage to be imperfect.”
― Brené Brown

 

Knowing where you belong
Isn't going to be easy,
But it is worth it.
You may not even belong
In any one place.
And that's ok.
If a place
Doesn't feel right
You have the right and freedom
To go somewhere new.
Knowing who you belong with
Isn't easy either
As people can change
They can appear to be one way
And truly be another.
The right people,
The right place
Will come into your life
At the right time.
You do not need
To change yourself
To find out
Where you belong
Or who you belong with.
It will all
Work itself out in time
If you just let it.

Share

I am linking up with Five Minute Friday for today's post.

Today's Five Minute Friday is: Share


It is so difficult to share one's own story
Because many people don't want to hear it.
They are not believers
In the one who can change their lives.
Or they think it won't make a difference.
Sharing lifts a burden that
Was once thought to be just their own
To take on.
Sharing creates a community of people
Who may have a similar story.
Of people who truly care about others.
It eases the pain of the bad times
And magnifies the good times.
Sharing requires nothing
Except one's own voice
Which is more powerful
Than anyone may think.
That is the beauty of sharing your story.
Words have the power to move others
In a way nothing else can.
Don't be afraid to tell your story
If it can help even just one person.

Why

I am linking up with this year's 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes.

Today's Five Minute Free Write is: Why

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. --Friedrich Nietzsche

 

There is always a reason to why things happen.
We may not know what that reason is,
But it is there.
Having a why to live
Is one of the best feelings in the world.
It helps figure out the hows in life
And in getting through the tough times.
We may ask why something happened
The way it did
But the only way to figure it out
Is to get through it.
Why is such a big question
So deep
That the answer
May never be known sometimes.
Just knowing that
Your why was chosen for you
Is enough to get through life,
Both the good and the bad parts.

Believe

I am linking up with the 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes, for today's Free Write.

Today's free write is: Believe.

Magic is believing in yourself. If you can do that, you can make anything happen. --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

Believing in yourself is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
You are capable of more than you think
You just need to believe that you are.
Believing in yourself
Your worth
Your life
Is an amazing feeling.
You deserve to do the things you want to do
If you just believe in yourself,
And in the impossible.
Believing in the good that is to come in life,
That the bad and tough times
Do not last forever
Is what makes life worth living.
Our stories and lives are meant to be lived and shared,
Yet some do not believe in the power
Of their testimonies.
By not believing in their story,
They are doubting the one
Who has written their story.
It is worth it,
To believing in themselves and their life story,
So as to help others believe as well.


Afraid

I am linking up with 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes.

Today's Free Write is: Afraid

My motto is: feel the fear and do it anyway. --Tamara Mellon

Everyone is afraid of something, and there is nothing wrong with that. It is how you get past your fear, that is most important.

Acknowleding the fear, accepting it, and pushing past it is easier said than done, but it helps in getting through something that is scary, and hard.

Fear will always be a part of life, and getting past it is how you learn to live, how you learn to get through the hard, difficult, scary times.

Pushing past these times is worth it in the end, when you get to the beauty of accomplishing what you thought was impossible. What you thought was scary.

You know something is worth doing, if it scares you. It means it is important to you, that you want something enough to push through the hard parts.

Story

I am participating in this year's 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes, which I am really looking forward to!!

Today's free write is: Story

Everyone has a story to tell,
And it is up to them as to how they write it.
There will always be
Good parts
Bad parts
Funny parts
Sad parts
Scary parts
But no matter what their story has
It is theirs to tell
And only theirs.
No one can
Tell it for them.
They are the director,
And the main actor
In their story.
It is special,
Beautiful,
Unique to that person.
It has many chapters to be told.
Every story is worthy of being told,
Of being heard.
The beginning and the middle of our stories
Are just as important
As the end,
Which will be told in due time.
Our stories are not to be rushed,
as they are meant to be enjoyed.
We just have to take the time
To slow down and take in
The world around us,
To see the world
And all that it offers.

Things That Made Me Happy In September

Here is what made me happy this month:

• Finally checking out the rooftop greenhouse/garden at work (yes, my work has a rooftop greenhouse, which is pretty cool!!)
• Another month closer to finishing my internship, which I am now just two weeks away from finishing
• Finally getting the back tire on my bike repaired as well (I got the front tire fixed back in June), as it finally gave out
• Checking out a museum exhibit on Islam through a work program
• Seeing a little girl blow kisses to the fish in the library's children's area fish tank
• Seeing a littble boy blow a kiss to the library's children's area fish (on a different day)
• A little girl "helping me" shelve a few children's books at work

Not much happened this month, but it was a good month. Here's hoping for a happy/good October!

Crowd

I am joining up for today's Five Minute Friday (something I haven't done in ages, as I have had writer's block).

Today's FMF is: CROWD


Crowds seem very intimidating to me
As I navigate through them
I feel as if people are watching me
With judging eyes
I don't feel confident in crowds
As it makes me feel lost and lonely
Insignificant
I don't have the courage
To speak my mind
To do the things I want to do
I am so focused on what others think of me
Of what I say or do
That crowds make me feel
Small and insecure
Being around so many people I don't know
Makes me feel awkward and insecure
And very self-aware
Of how I look
What I'm doing
What I say
Feeling all this
Keeps me from doing many of the things
That I really want to do and say
Which makes me feel like
I am missing out
On some wonderful memories in life

My Fall 2018 Bucket List

Here is my bucket list for this fall:

• Paint/carve a pumpkin
• Go for walks
• Do a fall photoshoot
• Pick up the violin again, and play regularly
• Make a collage with leaves that have changed color
• Make and give out packs with necessities for those in need
• Have at least one movie marathon day
• Attend at least one football game
• Roast pumpkin seeds
• Make and eat s'mores
• Bake a pumpkin pie
• Cook Thanksgiving dinner
• Purchase things from the local farmer's market
• Drink hot chocolate
• Make a big batch of chili
• Watch Halloween movies
• Knit or crochet sweater for dad
• Go see the second Fantastic Beasts movie
• Make Rice Krispie treats
• Have a picnic in the park
• Attend a fall festival
• Put together a large puzzle
• Go thrift shopping
• Finish internship
• Try a pumpkin spice latte
• Visit the city
• Update fall wardrobe
• DIY Halloween crafts
• DIY Thanksgiving crafts
• "BOO" a neighbor
• Drink hot chocolate
• Go on bike rides
• Color in a coloring book
• Learn how to sew

There will most likely be more things I will add to this list, but this is a good start for me. What is on your fall bucket list?