My Current Thoughts

The world has been thrown into chaos these last few months, with the coronavirus spreading everywhere.

A lot of businesses have closed until further notice, schools are closed and are doing e-learning, restaurants are only doing drive-thru, pick-up and delivery of meals, and we are being asked to stay inside as much as possible.

I work at my local library, and we have been closed since March 13th. I haven't been working since March 10 (I had my normal 3 of four days off, before the closure became official), and I am really missing it. A month of things not being normal.

I have only gone out 3 times, to buy some groceries, and the rest of the time has been spent inside.

None of us at home have shown any symptoms of this virus, and for that I am thankful. Hopefully we never will. For those who are sick, or who have lost loved ones to this pandemic, I am praying for you.

For the last couple of weeks, I have been having a hard time dealing with not being able to work, nor being able to shop, or go out to eat, or get together with others.

I have been watching lots of movies, writing, listening to music, and reading a lot, to try and keep my spirits up, but there is only so much I can do that will help with that.

I got a couple pieces of news over the last week or so, which I am not happy about.

One: the Joni and Friends retreat that I was planning on going to in June has been cancelled. I understand why it was cancelled, and accept it, but I am still sad that it was. I was looking forward to seeing the friends I made there, and to have fun.

The other piece of news is that a dear neighbor friend of mine had died some time ago (not from coronavirus, but from cancer).

I didn't hear about her passing, so a Ppart of me is kind of angry about that, as I truly cared about her, but I am, of course, mainly sad that she is gone. I had known her for over 20 years, and will miss her dearly.

This is a crazy time we are living in, but we will get through this, and I can't wait for things to calm down, and go back to normal. Or as normal as it can get after something like this.

YouTube Channel Favorite: Knorpp and South

Knorpp and South is probably up there on my list of absolute favorites.

This is another family that has adopted children, as well as biological children.

The couple who run this channel has four biological sons, and five adopted children (3 girls and two boys).

They document their everyday lives, their travels (they are big on traveling), and making memories.

They have done a series of videos, where they sit down one on one with each child, and interview them, as well as sharing the stories of the children that they adopted.

As well as the other families/people I have mentioned before in my YouTube Favorites, this family truly cares about each other, and the others around them. They want to leave the world a little better than before, and try to make the best of things.

100 Things I Want to Do in My Lifetime

There are a lot of things I would love to be able to do in my lifetime, and I want to be able to do as many of those things as possible.

In no particular order, here are 100 things I want to do:

1. Get my driver's license
2. Get into a loving, caring relationship with a significant other
3. Live on my own
4. Get married
5. Have children
6. Travel around the world (there are TONS of places I have never been to, that I would love to visit)
7. Be more confident in myself
8. Play the violin again, on a regular basis
9. Buy a good quality DSLR
10. Buy a good quality laptop
11. Get my baking and pastry degree
12. Become fluent in Spanish
13. Become fluent in Italian
14. Become fluent in French
15. Become fluent in Sign Language
16. Learn how to sew
17. Go to a Garth Brooks concert
18. Go on a Joni and Friends Wheels for the World trip
19. Go to an Andrea Bocelli concert
20. Exercise on a regular basis
21. Learn how to play the piano
22. Make my own vision board/book
23. Get my photography degree
24. Become a professional photographer
25. Become a professional baker
26. Open up my own bakery
27. Write and publish at least one book
28. Visit all 50 U.S. states
29. Go on a road trip with friends
30. Have my own YouTube channel and post videos on a regular basis
31. Learn how to French braid
32. Learn how to do Dutch braids
33. Learn how to do a fishtail braid
34. Learn how to do a milkmaid braid
35. Go on a picnic
36. Go ziplining
37. Have my own garden with fruits, veggies, and flowers
38. Foster children
39. Foster animals
40. Learn how to knit/crochet sweaters
41. Learn how to knit/crochet blankets
42. Try snowboarding at least once
43. Get a tattoo in memory of my mom
44. Get a Harry Potter-related tattoo
45. Learn how to make macarons
46. Learn how to make ombre cakes
47. Read The Hobbit books
48. Read The Lord of the Rings books
49. Host a Friendsgiving
50. Go to a White Sox vs. Cubs game
51. Learn how to bbq
52. Reach financial independence
53. Write my own songs
54. Learn to read braille
55. Relax in a sensory deprivation tank
56. Host a 4th of July party
57. Learn to juggle
58. Participate in an Escape Room
59. Take a solo vacation
60. Take self defense classes
61. See the Hamilton Play
62. Go paintballing
63. See the Northern lights
64. Get my nose pierced
65. Get another piercing in each ear
66. Get a passport
67. Have a photoshoot done
68. Grow more in my faith
69. Go to a pro hockey game
70. Spend Christmas in another country
71. Spend New Year's in another country
72. Dye my hair purple
73. Visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter
74. Adopt at least one dog
75. Write and give letters to people who mean a lot to me
76. Write in a prayer journal on a regular basis
77. Pack and send off as many shoebox presents as I can for Operation Christmas Child
78. Make someone's day with a random act of kindness
79. Visit Disney World
80. Visit Disney Land
81. Go to a drive-in movie
82. Learn how to tie a tie
83. Learn to use chopsticks
84. See the Harlem Globetrotters play
85. Write a letter to myself to be opened on my 40th birthday
86. Go to a Blue Man Group concert
87. Go indoor skydiving
88. Go to a paint night
89. Learn how to apply my own makeup
90. Spend a day at Great America
91. Go horseback riding as often as I can
92. Go mini golfing again
93. Go whitewater rafting
94. Walk across the Golden Gate Bridge
95. Walk across the Brooklyn Bridge
96. Meet Robbie Coltrane
97. Meet Johnny Depp
98. Meet Jonathan Antoine/go to one of his concerts
99. Meet the Obamas
100. Meet J.K. Rowling

My Spring 2020 Bucket List

I love making bucket lists, so it seams only fitting to make seasonal bucket lists.

In no particular order, here is what I would like to do this spring:

• Get bedroom cleaned up
• Redecorate bedroom (paint walls a different color, get a new bed, etc.)
• Spend more time with friends
• Spend at least half as much money
• Find and keep up an exercise routine that works for me
• Have a self-care day at least twice a month
• Practice baking and decorating skills
• Learn Sign Language
• Learn Spanish
• Donate unwanted clothes
• Donate unwanted books, movies, CDs, etc.
• Binge watch season 3 of Call the Midwife (one of my favorite shows!!)
• Host a game night
• Get my driver's license
• Go on walks
• Dye Easter eggs
• Bake cookies
• Start riding my bike again
• Go thrift shopping
• Explore my neighborhood
• Spend a day in the city
• Take lots of photos
• Binge watch season 1 of Bonanza (another favorite show of mine)
• Learn how to use chopsticks
• Knit or crochet at least one thing a month
• Read a book at a park
• Make a vision board/notebook
• Talk to my friends on a more regular basis
• Start a veggie/flower garden

I may add more things in the future, if I think of more. But, at this point, this is what I would like to do this spring.

What do you want to do this spring?

YouTube Channel Favorite: Crazy Middles

Yet another new one for me.

Crazy Middles is a large family, who also have adopted children (as well as a biological child, I believe). The parents have two biological kids, and 18 adopted children.

They document how they handle everyday life with so many children, which they do with lots of love, care, and fun.

A few of the older kids live on their own, but the others are still at home, and I love watching what they do in a typical (for them) day.

This is another family that truly cares about each other, and those around them.

They definitely love each other, and love to have fun, make special memories, and just be there for each other.

I have a heart for children, and for adoption, so I seem to be drawn to channels where the couples have adopted children, which is absolutely fine with me!

Lonely and Misunderstood

For as long as I can remember

I have felt like

I don't belong anywhere

Even within my own family

 

I am different

And I don't like it

 

My eyes don't work

Like they are meant to

I have a little extra weight on me

I wish my feet looked like

They are supposed to

 

Among other things I don't like

There is hardly anything

I like about my body

And I wish I could change it

 

There are things my body does

That I am very embarrassed about

 

People keep judging me

Without really getting to know me

And it gets to me more than they think

 

Me being so shy

Makes it hard

To talk to people

To tell them

How I feel

 

And I wish they were

More understanding

More compassionate

And not so judgmental

 

This is why

I would rather

Stay home, in my room

Than with people

Who don't really like me

 

I feel so inadequate

Being around others

Who are so much more

Confident in who they are

In how they look

 

I feel like

The people who

Are my friends

Are only my friends

Just to be nice

 

I just feel alone

And misunderstood

Most of the time

 

And it is so hard for me

To break that

 

I wish I was different

I wish I was normal

YouTube Channel Favorite: SixBlindKids

This is another relatively new find for me as well. SixBlindKids is a family of 9 (mom and dad, a biological son, and six adopted children, all six of whom are blind, with other conditions as well).

They document their daily lives, how they live, how they help their kids learn to be as independent as possible, and their experiences with everything that comes with having children with disabilities.

They are one of the nicest families I have ever "met" as they truly care about each other, and others outside of their family.

One of the girls has a job, and does well, and the others are in school or living on their own.

The parents are big advocates for disability rights, and for their children, and I love how they just go about their day, and how they live their lives, as well as their part in the disability community.

I am so thankful to have come across this channel and family, and can't wait to see what the future holds for them.

Looking Forward to Joni and Friends Retreat 2020

Registration for this year's Joni and Friends Retreats is now open, and I have already registered to go to week 2 of the Michigan retreat.

I can't wait to go, and am really looking forward to it! This will be my second year going/volunteering at Maranatha, and might volunteer at Urban Retreat, if it is in the cards for me this year.

Last year, I got to work in the sweet shop, and absolutely loved it. This year, I am hoping for the same position, but will be happy being paired with a camper as well, if that is what they see fit for me.

If you are at all interested in going, either as a volunteer or as a camper/family, you can visit the Joni and Friends Retreats and Getaways page, to find out more information (just click on Family Retreat on the Retreats and Getaways page under Ministries).

If you are unsure about whether or not Retreat is for you, go! It is one of the BEST things you could ever be a part of!!

I am so looking forward to Retreat, and wish it was June already!

YouTube Channel Favorite: Clayton Jennings

Clayton Jennings is a new find of mine, and I love his videos.

He recites poetry that he has written himself, and he is amazing!!

He speaks of his faith (all of his videos centers around his faith), his emotions, family and friends, tough stuff, and his life.

They way he speaks is very captivating, emotion-filled, and beautiful.

His passion for poetry and faith comes through in everything he speaks and does, and he is definitely not shy in saying what he feels and thinks.

I am so thankful to have come across Clayton and his channel, and will definitely follow him for a long time.

Concerts and Plays I Would Love to Go To

I have always wanted to go concerts of my favorite artists, and to plays. I have only been to one play so far, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (it was really good!!!), and no concerts.

I really want to change that.

Singers/Bands

• Andrea Bocelli
• Imagine Dragons
• Pentatonix
• Garth Brooks
• Michael Buble
• Josh Groban
• Jonathan Antoine

Plays

• Wicked
• Aladdin
• The Book of Mormon
• Christmas Spectacular Starring The Radio City Rockettes
• A Christmas Carol
• The Lion King
• Hamilton
• The Phantom of the Opera

Other

• Blue Man Group
• Stomp