Death and Life

We don't get to choose our time. Death is what gives life meaning. To know your days are numbered. Your time is short.

That is a line from the movie Doctor Strange, said by the character The Ancient One.

And it is definitely true. We do not get to decide our time. We do not get to live forever, no matter how hard we try.

The first death I experienced (and that I remember) was my maternal grandpa's death in 1999 (I was 13 then). It really scared me, and made me start thinking about my own life. It made me very, very afraid of death.

I know that we can't live forever, and I am trying to come to terms with my own mortality. I am partway there, in accepting it, and I want to make the most of this life while I can.

At this point in my life, I am afraid that after I die, that that is it. That I won't exist anymore.

I know some people don't believe in God, and heaven, and all that. I respect their reasonings, but I myself am not so against the idea of there being something more than this life, more than this world.

I don't think I am afraid of death itself, just that it causes so much pain and suffering, and that I have no absolute proof that I will not stop 'existing' after death. That my sould would be in a better place.

People have told me, as well as me reading, that if you have a dream about someone who has died, that means they are telling you that they are ok, and not to worry or to be sad. I have had several dreams about my mom after she died, all but one being a good dream. It made me feel good, because she was doing good in the dreams, but sad as well, because my mom wasn't alive anymore for me to tell her about the dreams.

I don't constantly think about life and death, about mortality, and all that, but every once in a while, something will remind me of it, and make me think about the future, and what it holds.

Hopefully, at some point in my life, I will be fully accepting of death, including my own. I don't want to be so afraid of death, and what it brings, that I forget to live a full, meaningful life now. I don't want to miss out on all that life has to offer.

The Benefits of Volunteering

For almost five years now, I have been volunteering at my local library, delivering library materials to those who can't make it to the library (due to disability, illness, etc.). It was one of the best things I decided to do, during what was, at that time, the worst time in my life.

I was going through a very tough time, and after a while, needed something to occupy my mind. Originally, I had wanted to volunteer in the children's area at the library, but when the library held a new volunteer meeting, they suggested I do the home delivery program (I did get to volunteer in the children's area after starting that, though).

I wasn't sure I really wanted to do the home delivery program, as I didn't have a license, but they said that was fine. There were (and are) three other people who are the main delivery people for the library.

After almost five years, I am so thankful that I did get to do the home delivery program. I met some really nice people, it brought me out of my shell a little (I am normally a very introverted and shy person), and I am doing something that I really enjoy.

On many occasions, some of the people I deliver materials to have said that they really appreciate what I (and the others) do for them, which makes me feel really good.

By volunteering your time, you get to help other people (and animals), and you get a rewarding feeling of your work, a sense of purpose and belonging. Volunteering may be free, but what you get in return far outweighs money. Your service definitely does not go unnoticed.

Volunteering actually helps raise your mood, you get to do what you love, you meet some amazing people, and you are doing some amazing work for your community. It really is one of the best things you can do!!

My Favorites of Spring

It is finally spring, so I thought I would post my favorite things about spring.

1. Flowers and trees blooming
2. The weather getting warmer/nicer
3. The Farmer's Market starting up again
4. Not having wear winter clothing
5. A light breeze blowing
6. All the different colors coming out in nature
7. Going on walks
8. Relaxing out on the front porch
9. Relaxing in the yard
10. Finally being able to start a garden
11. Being able to ride my bike again
12. Fresh fruits and veggies (that are in season)
13. Days staying lighter longer
14. Dying eggs for Easter (and Easter itself)
15. Being able to open windows during the day (and night) when the weather is warm
16. Pasta salad
17. Picnics
18. Exercising outside
19. Seeing butterflies
20. S'mores
21. The all-around beauty that is spring

I Am Finally a Working Girl (Again)!!!

I recently started working at my local library, as a shelving aide. Basically, I sort the materials that have been returned, shelve materials that are checked in, and pull materials that are on hold for patrons.

The library is within walking distance, which is really nice. I work three days a week, for about 15 hours each week.

One of the children's librarians, who I am friends with, had been suggesting I apply at the library, and would remind me about handing in an application. I had finally handed one in, around mid-January, but wasn't really expecting to hear anything about it, as I didn't hear anything the other times I applied.

But, I was very shocked when I was asked to come in for an interview, and even more shocked when I got a call saying that I got the job. The day I got the call saying I was hired, I was pretty much on cloud nine, I was so happy!!!

While working in the children's area one day, a little boy waved at me while I was shelving books. It made me feel good knowing kids (at least, some kids) were comfortable enough to interact with the staff. He was such a sweetheart!!

I have been volunteering there for almost 5 years now, so I am pretty familiar with some of the goings on at the library. I still get to volunteer, with the homebound delivery program, which is nice. I didn't want to give it up.

Since my mom worked at the library for a long time, I already knew a lot of the staff there, before I started working, which has greatly helped me with my job.

Hopefully this job lasts a lot longer than my last one (which it seems like it will), and that I will be happy with it (I am very happy with it so far!!).

It feels really good to be able to work again, especially at a place I love going to. The people are nice, the hours are good (and the pay!!). I'm just very happy right now!!!!

Movie Review: Beauty and the Beast

Since this week is spring break for me, I decided to go see Beauty and the Beast at my local movie theater yesterday.

I didn't really know what to think before the movie started, but I wanted to keep an open mind about the movie, and wait until the end to form an opinion on it. I must say, though, that I am very impressed with the movie. It exceeded my expectations.

The costumes, the set, the acting, the music, the animation...it all was very superbly done!!

I absolutely loved Belle's yellow dress, and how they made up Beast to look. And the ending. That was beautifully done!! I especially loved how Belle stood up for herself when Gaston was trying to get her attention, and her hand in marriage, as well as when she was with the Beast.

I would definitely watch this movie again, and would recommend it to anyone who is thinking about seeing it.

My Spring Bucket List

Now that I have a job, I am more inclined to want to do more fun things, that I am able to pay for myself. Here is my spring bucket list.

• Get my driving permit
• Practice driving
• Get bedroom cleaned up
• Buy a violin
• Buy a ukulele
• Buy a laptop
• Bike at least once a week
• Go to the Farmer's Market
• Fill a sketchbook
• Start a garden
• Dye Easter eggs
• Go bowling
• Try jogging
• Donate unwanted items
• Host a game night
• Bake something once a week
• Take nature photography walks
• Make and eat a homemade pizza
• Try a new recipe each week
• Go on a picnic
• Buy new clothes
• Redecorate bedroom
• Practice cake decorating skills
• Knit or crochet a sweater for my dad
• Eat out at least one new-to-me restaurant
• Visit the local Hemingway Birthplace
• Paint something on canvas
• Put puzzles together
• Bake at least one loaf of bread
• Start an essential oils routine
• Buy exercise clothes
• Start a regular exercise routine
• Re-learn Spanish
• Learn ASL
• Make a vision board
• Learn Italian
• Learn how to take better pictures
• Make flowerr crowns
• Eat from local ice cream shops
• Publish at least one video on YouTube
• Learn how to sew
• Make and fly a kite
• Host a potluck
• Visit a free museum
• Try eating healthier more regularly
• Become certified in First Aid/CPR
• Try drinking tea on a regular basis
• Take up meditation
• Take up yoga
• Learn how to apply makeup

I may add more to this list in the future, but this is all I can think of so far. What is on your spring bucket list?

My Life Bucket List, Continued

More places I would like to go, things I would like to do, and more.

The Chocolate Bar in Houston, Texas
Serenbe, Georgia
Canton, Mississippi
Milton, Delaware
Boone, North Carolina
Abilene, Kansas
Creede, Colorado
War Eagle, Arkansas
Shipshewana, Indiana
Guildford, Connecticut
Capitola, California
Jim Thorpe, Pennsylvania
Davis, Oklahoma
Ste. Genevieve, Missouri
Berlin, Maryland
Natchitoches, Louisiana
Sitka, Alaska
Hood River, Oregon
Paia, Hawaii
Damascus, Virginia
Shelburne, Vermont
Frederick, Maryland
Grand Haven, Michigan
Cedar Key, Florida
Marietta, Ohio
Healdsburg, California
Franklin, Tennessee
Keene, New Hampshire
Corning, New York
Wolfeboro, New Hampshire
Pella, Iowa
Galena, Illinois
Archery Tag (saw this on Pinterest)
Get a tattoo that means something to me
See The Joffrey Ballet's The Nutcracker in person
Bar Harbor, Maine
Breaux Bridge, Louisiana
Lindsborg, Kansas
Mount Carroll, Illinois
Sandpoint, Idaho
Kailua-Kona, Hawaii
Dahlonega, Georgia
St. Augustine, Florida
Smyrna, Delaware
Chester, Connecticut
Durango, Colorado
Pacific Grove, California
Harrison, Arkansas
Bisbee, Arizona
Seward, Alaska
Fairhope, Alabama
Fill shoebox presents each year, as a family, for Operation Christmas Child
El Caminito, La Boca, Buenos Aires, Argentine
Lombard Street, San Francisco
Umbrella Sky Project, Agueda, Portugal
Brouwersgracht, Amsterdam, Netherlands
Champs-Elysees, Paris, France
Bregagh Road, Ballymoney, Northern Ireland
Cherry Blossom Avenue, Bonn, Germany
Qiyi Street Chongron Alley, Lijiang, China
Jerez de la Frontera, Andalusia, Spain
Chefchaouen, Morocco
Korankei Valley, Toyota, Aichi, Japan

Five Minute Friday: Safe

Wow, it has been a loooong time since I did Five Minute Friday. I actually kind of miss it.

This week's FMF is: Safe


In a world that has become a very dangerous place to be, it seems like safe places to stay are becoming rare.

We need a place where we know we can relax, where we can be ourselves, without worrying if we will be attacked or judged.

Why is it so hard to let people live their lives, without fearing them? Most of the time, people just want to go about their lives, without having to constantly look over their shoulder, wondering if the safety of their home, job, or community will be shattered.

Having a safe place to just be, is the best way for people to feel comfortable, to feel like they belong. To feel human.

Safety needs to be more common in today's world. If people were kinder, more understanding, more accepting of others, the world would be much safer. A little kindness goes a long way.

50 Things About Me

I decided to do a get-to-know-me post, so you

1. I am the youngest of five; I have three brothers and 1 sister.
2. I had a birthmark removed from my neck when I was 18.
3. I am very shy and introverted, but once I get to know someone, and they want to be friends with me, I can be very outgoing.
4. I have never been outside of the U.S. before, although I got close to the U.S./Canada border when I went to Montana.
5. I love to bake (mainly sweets/desserts), and am going to school for my baking/pastry degree.
6. I also love photography, and hope to get my photography degree someday.
7. Another passion of mine is writing, and I would love to write at least one book in my life.
8. I have an iris coloboma in my right eye (the iris, and in my case, the pupil as well, didn't form properly, so my vision isn't that great in my right eye).
9. My favorite animals are horses, dogs, cats, and polar bears.
10. I love things that glow in the dark.
11. I am majorly afraid of heights.
12. I bullet journal.
13. I never really liked school all that much until I got to college.
14. I am a HUGE Harry Potter fan.
15. My musical taste is pretty varied. My favorite artists are Andrea Bocelli (opera/pop), Francesca Battistelli (Christian), Garth Brooks (country), Imagine Dragons, Josh Groban, Celtic Woman (Irish), Celtic Thunder (Irish) and Pentatonix.
16. My favorite color is purple.
17. As a kid, I loved mushrooms. I'm not a big fan of them now, but I will eat them.
18. I love chocolate. A lot!!!
19. My favorite food is pasta.
20. My favorite cuisines are Italian, Mexican and some Indian.
21. I am a major night owl.
22. I volunteer at my local library, delivering library materials to those who can't physically come to the library for whatever reason (disability, illness, pregnancy, etc.).
23. I have lived in a city my whole life, but I prefer country living.
24. I have lived in the same house since I was born.
25. I prefer warm weather over cold.
26. I love stickers.
27. I love to make lists.
28. I love thrift stores (there are at least 3 different thrift stores near me).
29. My favorite TV shows are Once Upon a Time, Hawaii Five-O (the remake), Bonanza and Gilmore Girls.
30. I love spicy foods.
31. I love linguistics.
32. I am obsessed with brimmed hats.
33. My favorite baker is Buddy Valastro from Cake Boss.
34. I love teddy bears.
35. I prefer long hair to short.
36. I love puzzles.
37. I love cheesecake.
38. I have a heart for children, and would love to adopt one day (as well as have bio children as well).
39. I took up knitting during a very difficult time in my life, and have been knitting ever since.
40. I also took up crocheting as well, and enjoy both crafts very much.
41. I am a very sensitive person, so I tend to take things personally, even when something is not meant to be personal/mean/etc. (although I am doing better with that, as I haven't been hurt by as much stuff as I used to).
42. I also am a very emotional person, so when I see someone hurt or upset, it affects me emotionally.
43. I played the violin in elementary school, and plan to play again someday.
44. I love candles.
45. I am a Hufflepuff/Pukwudgie (from the American school Ilvermorny)
46. I love rainy days.
47. I have been journaling since I was in sixth grade.
48. I had a hermit crab for a couple years, named Sebastian.
49. I love flannel.
50. I prefer animated movies over live action, but I will watch both.

My Word for 2017 Is...

Responsible

 

I have heard of people having a 'word' for the upcoming year, and talking about why they chose that word.

 

For 2017, I have chosen the word RESPONSIBLE.

 



I feel like that is the perfect word for me to work towards, as I think I can do more that what I am currently doing, to be more responsible for myself.

Many of the choices I have made in the past, aren't the wisest choices I have made to being as independent as I possibly can, and I want to work on that.

So, for 2017 (and beyond), I want to work on being more responsible for:

• My health. I am not taking very good care of myself, physically, emotionally, and mentally. And I really, really, really want to do better. There are several activities that I love to do (bike riding, swimming, yoga, even playing on playgrounds), and there are lots of food that I love, that I would be willing to have on a regular basis, that is good for me. Another health-related thing I would like to work on is my posture. For many years now, I have been slouching a lot, and it affects how I feel physically, emotionally and mentally. And it just does not look good. I want to be able to stand/sit up straight, without it being uncomfortable, and something I do not want to do; something I have to actually think about doing.
• How I spend my time. I don't have a job yet, and only volunteer once a week, so most of my free time is spent either on the Internet, watching a movie, reading, listening to music, or just sitting at home. The only thing I do that gets me out of the house is volunteering on Friday mornings. I would love to go out more often, to do more things out of the house, so I'm not doing nothing all day.
• My work ethic. There are some things in the work force that make me very uncomfortable, and unwilling to do, and I want to work on that. One is talking to people. I am a very shy person most of the time, and am only comfortable talking around friends and family. I would love to be able to be comfortable in a work environment, and not have to worry about little things. I would love to have a job that I will love, that I will be comfortable doing, and that the employer would be proud of having me as an employee.
• My financial situation. Since I don't have a job yet, the only way I get money is from my dad once a week. I don't always spend/save my money wisely, and I would like to work on that a lot more. I have been thinking that, once I get a job, I will put one third of my checks into my savings account, one third will be for donating, and one third will be used for spending on whatever I want/need right away.
• My possessions. I don't always take care of my things, and they end up getting torn, ripped, broken, or otherwise destroyed. And I have wrecked a few things that I loved, which I feel really bad about. Hopefully I can do better, and put things where they belong when I am done with them, so I can keep them as long as possible. I would also like to be more aware of where I put my possessions, as I sometimes forget where I put them, and it can take me a long time to find them.
• My actions, thoughts and emotions. I am one of those very sensitive people, so I tend to take things personally, even when it's not meant to be personal. Although, I have gotten better at not taking things every single thing personally, over the last several years, but I still want to work on it. I also want to work on not thinking negatively, about myself, or others. I would just like to be more positive, more happy in the things I do, think, and feel, and to bring as little negativity into my life as possible.