New CD Release

If you are familiar with the Britain's Got Talent show, you'll know that on the recent season, a 17-year-old duo named Jonathan Antoine and Charlotte Jaconelli won second place for their singing (I think they should have won first, they are that good!).

They got a recording contract after the show ended, and started working on a CD. They released their CD, called Together, in the UK on September 30th. Then, it was released today in the US. I am hoping to buy the CD within the next few weeks.

If you would like to see their audition for Britain's Got Talent, here is the link for it. They are so amazing, and I get blown away every time I watch it.

I have been following them ever since I saw their audition on Inside Edition (we don't get BGT here in the USA), and I am so glad that they got the chance to do what they are doing.

They did an interview for a US news show, and if you would like to watch that as well, here is the link to that.

I can't wait to get the CD and listen to it! They have amazing voices, and they are very down to earth people. I love them!!

Well, that's all for now. More to come later.

Operation Christmas Child

A few years ago, I first heard about the organization called Operation Christmas Child. It is where people can fill shoeboxes or plastic containers with presents for children, and then drop them off at a certain location, for them to be delivered to children who might otherwise not get anything for Christmas.

I have been wanting to do this ever since I heard about it, but have always missed the dates they do it. So, hopefully I can do it this year. It is in a couple weeks, and I may ask a few friends to help me out.

I don't know what I'll put in the box yet, but maybe I will put a little of everything in it, like toys, school supplies, accessories, and other things. I can't wait to be able to actually participate in Operation Christmas Child. I love giving, epsecially to children.

I love seeing the look on their faces getting a present, and getting something they want. And need. It makes me feel good.

If anyone wants more information on Operation Christmas Child, and to find out how to participate, here is the link to their website: http://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/occ I hope you decide to participate; you won't regret it!

Well, that's all for now. More to come soon.

Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence

For as long as I can remember, I've had low self-esteem and self-confidence. I'm naturally a shy person, so being confident is an issue with me.

I have never willingly raised my hand in class to offer an answer or opinion. I have never gone up to someone and started talking to them.

I am afraid of speaking up, because someone might laugh or judge me for it. I don't like to draw attention to myself/be the center of attention.

I always doubt if I can really do what I set my mind out to do. I think I am not as smart as I can be/than I really am.

I prefer to be at home, where I am most comfortable. I love to read, write, use the computer, knit and crochet, things that don't require groups of people, or talking to people I don't know.

I was never the "popular" kid in school. I didn't have a lot of friends (I still don't). I never did well in school. I felt like I was stupid.

I prefer email, letters, texting, and social media to phone calls and face to face interactions.

It would be awesome if I was more outgoing, but doing things that are out of my comfort zone are agonizing for me, and that stinks. I hate not being comfortable in situations where I have to talk to people, especially people I don't know, or aren't friends with.

There are things about myself that I don't like, like my eyes, my feet, and my smarts. I kind of don't like other things about myself, but those three are the main ones I feel self-conscious of the most. And I hate that.

I hope I can get out of my shell more, and be happier with who I am. Then I wouldn't be so worried about things that aren't that important.

Well, that's all for now. More to come later.

A New Volunteer

Last week, the driver I volunteered with had had his last day of volunteering on Friday, because he is having both knees replaced. So, tomorrow there is going to be a new driver I will be going with.

Since I am used to the regular driver taking me around, I am uncomfortable with a new driver. I have to get used to a new person all over again. I will be shy, and awkward again, around the new person.

I hate feeling like that. The old driver brought me out of my shell a little, and now I'm going to retreat back into it again. I really wish I wasn't so shy all the time, around new people.

I hope this new driver is nice, because I don't want to have to stop volunteering just because a volunteer is rude, or mean.

I just realized that it will be six months tomorrow since I started volunteering. It's crazy. I can't believe I've been volunteering that long already. Like the saying goes, time flies when you're having fun!

Well, that's all for now. More to come later.

Life is a Journey

Life is a journey
We all go through.
No matter your age,
Race,
Gender,
Religion,
Nationality,
Or ability.
No two journeys
Are exactly alike.
We are all different
But also the same.
I may not look like you,
Act like you,
Talk like you,
Learn the same as you,
Wear the same clothes as you,
Or have the same skin color as you.
But I am a human being
Like you.
And I want to be treated like one.
I am my own person,
And no one can change that.
We all have our own experiences in life,
And no one can take that away.
We all experience things in life
Whether they are happy or sad.
We experience every emotion,
Every feeling,
Every thought.
We all have different points of views.
We all have different likes and dislikes.
We all have different ways of expressing ourselves.
Whether it be words,
Clothing,
Jewelry,
Pictures,
Paintings,
Writings,
Or Films.
That is what makes us all
Different and unique.
We may not be able to do something
Someone else can.
But we can do something
They can’t.
We can feel for others
With disabilities.
We can stand up for them
When they, or others
Won’t or can’t.
They can always
Depend on us,
And we can always
Depend on them.
We can lift them up
When they’re down.
And they can lift us up
When we are down.
We can’t always be there for someone
In person.
But we can always be there
In spirit.
We all go through
Good times,
And bad times.
Happy times,
And sad times.
But we have friends and family
Who are there for us
Through it all.
All of this
Is what makes life
A journey.

The Child in Me

This past Friday, I had gone over to a friend's house for pumpkin carving/painting, one thing I absolutely love doing. Getting to be creative with a pumpkin is pretty cool.

I absolutely love arts and crafts, which means there is a child within me. And I love that. That means I won't always take life seriously, and that simple things in life are always the best.

My favorite "simple" things to to are read, write, color with crayons, markers, colored pencils and paint, and have fun in the outdoors.

People tend to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of work and raising a family and all that other stuff, that they don't take the time to enjoy the simple things in life, which is sad.

I mean, I know people have to work, and take care of their family, but that's all they focus on these days. Which is sad.

I hope people realize someday that life isn't all about working all the time, and "just" raising a family. It's also about having fun, and enjoying the simplest of things.

Life is too short to be working all the time, and being serious every second of every day. Go out and have fun. Live. Don't shut yourself from the good things.

Well, that's all for now. More to come later.

Darkness of the Day

My mind races
My eyes are
Swimming with tears.
I can't fall asleep
And I can't calm down.
I listen to Christian music
As I write this
To calm me down.
I am away from home.
I miss my family,
My cats
My room.
This is only for a few days
But it seems like forever
To me.
Although I love it here,
And that I have
A roommate to talk to,
I want to be home
Right now.
I will st ick it out
And pray to God
That He guides me,
And comforts me.
I really want to be here,
Among friends.
These are people like me
And they understand
What I am going through.
When I go through this,
It freels like
Nothing matters anymore,
That there is no point
In doing anything anymore.
In the end,
I feel better
When I let the tears flow,
And when I let
My feelings out.
And I feel
Like living again.
But the next night,
It starts all over again.
And I get frustrated
That it won't stop.


This was written in July 2010, while I was at a disability summit leadership. I was having a panic attack one of the days I was there, which is why this poem is written this way.

Fill-in-the-Blank Friday

1. One thing I plan on doing to relax this weekend is pumpkin carving tonight at a friend's house. Saturday and Sunday, I have to big plans, although I may go to a sale at a local thrift shop.

2. A big pet peeve of mine is when drivers go into the right lane, for turning right, and right when the light turns green, they speed up ahead of you, just so they can save time. You can't wait just a few seconds longer? Or stay in the lane you were in, to go straight?

3. I am really loving the beauty of fall. Many different colors, the cool air, holiday decorations.

4. The rain is great. I love it when it rains, except when it's cold out. Luckily, the recent rain we got was on warm days, so it wasn't so bad.

5. My favorite girly indulgence is chocolate, of course!

6. A song that I always get stuck in my head is nothing at the moment. I can't think of a song that's recently been on my mind a lot.

7. The best cure for stress is time with animals. I have two cats that I love hanging out with. They love being by me, and they always make me smile or laugh every day.

My Beloved Kitty

To my beloved Kitty
You left the world today.
It hurt to see you go
But I know
You are in a better place.
It hurt even more
When you kept looking at me
With those big yellow eyes.
I will love you
And miss You always.
You had a good life
Here on Earth,
And will have a good life
Up in Heavan.
I will miss it
When you follow me around,
When you beg for food,
When you lay on my lap,
When you sneak outside when the door is open,
When you curl up
On one of your favorite spots.
I will miss it
When you watch the birds and squirrels,
When you run around the place,
Just for no reason at all.
You were my best friend,
And it will be hard to get over you.

*Written on September 25, 2009
We had her since she was abou 6 weeks old, and was 16 when we had to put her down. So it was very hard on me. She was my best friend in the animal world.

Untitled

As I sit here on the porch,
Listening to birds chirping,
I try to come up
With a poem.
The sky slowly darkens
With the approach of rain,
The thunder sounds
In the distance.
A car drives by,
going to some unknown destination.
A man walks by
With purpose in his step.
The rain suddenly pours down,
As if the heavens open up.
Everything becomes wet,
Muddy, and dreary.
Birds take shelter in trees,
And I take shelter
Inside my home.
The rain lasts only a
short while.
The birds come out again,
Some feeding on the seeds
in the bird feeder.
I go back out to the porch,
And listen to the birds.
A bird is bathing
In the rain at the side
of the street.
The rain drips off of
branches and buildings.
I listen to a plane
flying by,
and the cars go by.
The sun comes back
Out to greet me.
Another man walks by,
With an umbrella in his hand.
I think about the
Brief moment of rain,
And how things can
Change in an instant.
The birds chirping,
Rabbits hopping by.
People out for a walk
Or drive.
Don’t take anything for granted.
It could all be gone
In an instant.
Treasure things in life,
big and small.
Life may seam dreary
And depressing at times,
But it is all worth it.
No matter what we go through,
The sun will come out
In the end.
As I sit here on the porch,
Listening to the birds chirping,
I try to come up
With a poem.
This is what results
From a mind at work


This was written in the summer of 2010.

Fall Fun & Unusually Warm Weather

Well, the Fall fun has begun. The other weekend, I went to a fall fest at a local community college. They had jewelry making, mask decorating, a pumpkin patch, food, mazes, and a few other fun things to do. I was able to get a pumpkin for myself (and it was free!), which was good.

I also made a couple different necklaces, and decorated a mask. I had a good time overall.

This past Saturday, a friend and I went to the movies, because they were having a free showing of Gumby the Movie. I love Gumby, so I was happy to go, when my friend invited me to it.

While getting our tickets, there was a guy out front dressed as Gumby, greeting all the children that were coming to see the movie. It was pretty cool.

After the movie, we went to an elementary school, because they were hosting a fall fest. It was fun. They had games, which were geared toward elementary school-age kids (of course), food, two pie-throwing contests (where a kid could throw a pie at two teachers), a raffle, and pumpkins.

I got another pumpkin, which I am happy about. Yes, I now have two pumpkins. That just means I can be twice as creative for Halloween. And I LOVE being creative.

This Friday, I am volunteering in the morning, and then going over to a friend's house, for their annual pumpkin carving night. I love going to it. Pumpkin carving/painting, food, talking, maybe a little music...it's a fun night.

I haven't decided whether or night I will dress up for Halloween, but I have time to decide that.

Today, I saw Frankenweenie in theaters. It was really good. I love going to the movies, even though I have to spend $6 to $8 for tickets, which is crazy.

I sometimes go alone, which I don't mind doing. At all. I don't know why, really. I guess it's because I don't have to "plan." I don't have to call/text/email/whatever, to see if anyone is available, and then plan anything for before or afterwards.

I know I can plan "on a whim," with friends or family, but people don't always like doing anything more than a movie. So, I usually go to the movies alone. Which is fine with me.

The last few days, it has been around the low sixties, and it's fall. I don't remember it ever been this warm in October, for this many days. It's crazy, but I like it. I'm a warm weather person, so this is nice. Although, about half the time, it has been raining. But, I love the rain as well, so I'm not bothered about that.

So, I'm pretty happy right now.

Oh, I just remembered. The other day, my oldes brother called, just to say hi and see how we are doing. He lives halfway across the country, and I haven't seen him for quite a while. So, it was nice to hear from him.

He's doing good, although he's working a lot. But he told me he's going to Hawaii in January, which I am extremely jealous about. I've always wanted to go to Hawaii (who doesn't?), and I wish I could go with him.

I hope I get to see my brother and sister-in-law sometime soon, because I miss them. A lot. I haven't seen them for a couple of years.

I know that people can live wherever they want, but I just wish my brother didn't live so far away, so I can see him and his wife more often. I love hearing from them, though.

Well, that's all for now. More to come soon.

Missing You

As time passes

The pain lessens a little

But I think about you

More and more.

I miss you

And everything you were.

A wife

A mother

A grandmother

A sister

A daughter

An aunt

Loving

Strong

Beautiful

I miss you more now

More than ever.

I may have

More life ahead of me

But I can’t wait

Until I get to see you again.

I wish you were around

To see me finish school.

To see me get married

And have a family of my own.

To come to birthday parties,

And holiday gatherings.

But I know that you are watching

From Heaven.

I just wish I had my best friend back.

My mom back.

Dreaming of you

Only makes the longing

Of having you back

Intensify.

I know you had to go

But I need you.

Still.

The dreams are not enough.

You left us way too soon.

I need you.

We need you.

I miss you, mom.

I love you.

And I can’t wait to see you again.

 

 

(This poem was written shortly after my mom died in November 2010.)

Fill-in-the-Blank Friday

1. My favorite flower is pretty much every flower. I don't have a particular favorite.
2. You should never talk about what people should and shouldn't do, in a lot of situations. They can (usually) figure out what is right and wrong
3. My favorite discovery of late is that I'm good at crocheting. I've been taking classes at my church, and right from the beginning I've been able to catch on pretty quickly. I am currently working on a fall shawl that they gave me the pattern for. So far, it looks really good. I can't wait to finish it!
4. This fall you will probably find me wearing jeans and sweaters.
5. I wish I were a teacher or teacher's aide right now. I love children, so this would be a great job for me to have.
6. My favorite TV show currently is American Pickers. I love the places to go to, and what they buy/sell. It's interesting to see a part of the past still alive today.
7. This weekend I want to relax, and work on the shawl I am crocheting.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

Loving Yourself-Special Talents

What special talents do you have?

The only thing I can call a "special talent" is baking, but I'm not that great yet.

I am hoping to go back to school for my baking degree in the spring. I've loved to bake since elementary school. It's one of my biggest passions.

Although, I guess you can say that another "special talent" I have is being able to roll my tongue. I've been able to do that for as long as I can remember.

Dreaming of a Job

Last night, I had a dream that I was at the local library, and the head of the library told me I had been hired there, which made me really happy.

I really hope I get a job, and soon. I need the money. And something else to do. I don't have a lot going on during the week, so I am bored a lot.

I haven't had a job in quite a while, and I actually kind of miss working. It is kind of interesting having a dream about working at the library, because I would love it if I got a job there. I volunteer there, so it would be nice to do more than just that at the library.

A lot of people who work there know me already, and I know them, through my mom, so I have an advantage there. When my mom was alive, she worked there, and included me in some of the library activities, which I actually enjoyed.

Plus, the library is close by, so I don't have to rely on public transportation to get me there. I can drive in bad weather, and walk in good weather.

So, I'm hoping this dream comes true. I have had only one of my dreams (dreams I've had while sleeping) come true, so it would be cool if it happened again.

Well, that's all for now. More to come later.

Fall Fun

Earlier this afternoon, I went to a fall fest at a local community college. It was pretty fun. They had a pumpkin patch, a couple mazes, face painting, food, jewelry making, and other things. I was able to get a pretty good size pumpking, that’s in good shape. I can’t wait to carve/paint it for Halloween!

I haven’t been to school in a while, for personal reasons, so it was weird being at school again and not going to classes. But I had a good time. My dad had said he may go to it next year. I think he would like it, if he went.

I absolutely love fall. The changing colors in the leaves, the cooler weather (especially since the heat wave we had for about half the summer), the festivities going on, and the decorations popping up.

I haven’t decided if I’m going to dress up for Halloween, but I will probably give out candy. I love seeing all the costumes the children wear. I remember one Halloween where a boy dressed up as a candy vending machine. It was awesome!

Well, that’s all for now. More to come later

Fill-in-the-Blank Friday

1. The last thing I ate was a granola bar this morning, before going to the library to volunteer.
2. The last time I went to the beach was in 2004, when I visited my oldest brother. He took me to the beach for a couple hours or so, since I've never been to that state before (California).
3. My last vacation was in 2011. Although, I don't know if it really counts as a vacation, since I had to go out of state for a funeral.
4. The last place I drove was nowhere. I don't drive yet, so I can't really drive anywhere. I'm hoping to get my license by next summer, though.
5. The last song I listened to was Losing by Tenth Avenue North. It's about what we go through in life, and that we are always forgiven by God.
6. The last thing I watched on TV was this morning's news.
7. The last time I said "I love you" was a couple days ago, to my dad. I said it just because I love him (of course).

Have a wonderful Friday!

Wishing on a Wedding

For the last several days, I have been looking at wedding ideas on Pinterest, and it is making me wish I was getting married.
Even though I don't even have a boyfriend yet. I am getting closer to 30, and I really want to be in a relationship before then.
After my mother died in 2010, I thought about doing some sort of tribute or something like that, to remember her at my wedding.
I haven't been thinking too much about the big day, but I want to have the wedding at my church, and the honeymoon in Hawaii.
I have always wanted to go to Hawaii, so that's why I want to go there for the honeymoon.
Seeing the ideas on Pinterest is inspiring me to think about my future, and what I want to do. Right now, I'm not really doing anything to prepare for my future, and I feel bad about it.
I want to finish school (Hospitality/baking and teaching/teacher's aide), get a job, move into my own place, and then figure out what to then.
I really need to get myself going with the first step in all of this, but I don't have the motivation. I don't know what to do. But, I'll figure something out. Hopefully soon.
I am nervous about all that I need to do, but I am excited to get going. I want to do my part in the community, and the world, and I can't wait to get started. I hope my friends and family will support me in what I want to do.
Even though I really, really, really want to get married, I know it won't be for a while, and at the moment, I'm ok with that. There are other things I can do, while I wait for my time to come to get married.
Well, that's all for now. More to come later.